


A Battle Of Wills, A Test Of Minds

by AllesandraQ



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-07 18:28:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11629353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllesandraQ/pseuds/AllesandraQ
Summary: Knight Commander Meredith Stannard gets a visit from a group of Warden Commanders, including the Warden Queen herself. She apparently has not made them very happy with her.Warden Commander and Queen, Ashleigh Cousland goes to visit an old friend after dealing with the Knight Commander in Kirkwall.(Takes place between acts 2 and three during Dragon Age 2)Written in response to a prompt from the dragon age writing prompts on the subreddit.





	A Battle Of Wills, A Test Of Minds

**Author's Note:**

> My canon Warden is Ashleigh Cousland, who romanced Alistair, and became Queen as well as balancing her duties with the Wardens. In my canon from Amaranthine, she and Anders became very good friends, and in the past she tried to get him to come back to Fereldan twice. 
> 
> The Hawke that shows up here is my canon Hawke, Wolfe Hawke, my purple mage who romanced Fenris.

**Setting: In between Act 2 and Act 3  
The Gallows**

 

"Knight Commander Stannard."

Meredith was not in the mood to deal with the foolish Templar in front of her- right now she had a city's problems to deal with, and of course the growing suspicions about the Mages in the Gallows. And of course the latest complaints from Orsino.  
  
_How dare he..._  
  
"What is it?" She snaps.

"There are a few visitors wishing to meet with you," the templar says, his voice betraying his nervousness. She looks up for the first time then and she sees that nervousness.  
  
"A few?"

"Yes. Wardens, Knight Commander." He cleared his throat. "Warden Commanders specifically. Four of them."

She stilled, and deep inside she had as feeling she knows what this is about. In her heart, in her blood... it was because of them... word must have gotten out somehow. She grits her teeth.

"One of them... is the Hero, Knight Commander. Hero of Fereldan, Warden Commander and Queen of Fereldan."

There was a warning there, she heard it. In his nervous tone. She would have to pay heed to it though. It would not bode well to aggravate or ignore the fact they are here.  
  
"Send them in," she says sharply. She closes her eyes, and turns around, glancing at her new sword, and grasps it. The feeling of being certain in her cause courses through her. She will have to be strong and the Wardens will have to leave empty handed, no matter WHO they are.  
  
"Knight Commander Stannard?" A soft voice intrudes in her thoughts. She lets go of her sword, and turns to face her guests with a smile.  
  
Although that smile nearly fell off when she saw one of them. Thoughts of outrage shrieked in her head as she stared at the mage, the MAGE, standing in front of her among the four. Mages do not deserve to be free, that she is most certain of.  
  
But her views are not shared by all. And here she must be careful, just and swift.  
  
Her eyes land on the speaker instead, the one that stands out among the four of them. For a moment Meredith feels her certainty stumble. For such a soft speaker, the woman does not look soft.  
  
Dark purple armor that looked like dragon scales covered her, her helmet in one hand, and she caught the faint glow of a sword in a sheath on her side. She heard of the tale- Starfang. She used that sword to kill the Archdemon..  
  
A somewhat sharp face, with a scar on one of her cheeks, black hair, braided tightly and laying over a shoulder in front, no longer held back by a helmet, brown eyes that held a firmness and told Meredith plenty. You can see so much of a person in the eyes. Her posture is firm, and shows she is sure of herself. She may speak softly, but this woman was not soft.  
  
"Shall I address you as Your Majesty or Warden Commander?" She asks, straightening, trying to be as tall as possible. She notices she's just slightly shorter than the woman.   
  
"As I am here on Warden business," her soft voice says with a coolness that Meredith found herself grudgingly admiring, "you can address me as Warden Commander Cousland-Theirin. Or simply Warden Commander." She waved her hand to the others, the two on her right a woman and and a male elf.  "This is Warden Commander Xara Sidony of the Nevarren Wardens, next to her is Warden Commander Doshiel Alerion of the Antiven Wardens and--"

She didn't want to hear what the mage's name was. It was bad enough she could wander freely. "What is the meaning of this visit, Warden Commander Cousland-Theirin?"

"Very well," She scowls briefly and Meredith belatedly realizes she made a misstep here. "Let me be as blunt as you then. You have five Warden Mages currently in your Circle. Warden Mages are exempted from being forced into the Circle, as you and everyone else _knows."_

Meredith sniffs. "All I was informed of was that my Templars found a group of apostates and they were brought to the Gallows." She catches the looks of distaste at the name of their Circle. "They were doing their job." 

"Their job is harassing wardens who are doing their duties?" The mage next to the Warden Queen speaks sharply. She catches an accent that reminds her of Orlais.  "They wore their armor with the Warden symbol, they had their papers indicating their recruitment of being a Warden, followed every possible procedure that you put into place years ago and yet that was all ignored."

"I cannot question what was going through my Templars minds when they found the apostates. They were doing their duty. That is what I expect from them."

"They are not apostates," Warden Commander Cousland Theirin said, her soft voice now sharp and her brown eyes gleaming. "They are Wardens, exempt from the Circle life, and they were doing a joint mission on Warden business. According to my source, their claims and their papers and the blatant fact that they are Wardens was ignored as they were thrown in your Gallows." She steps forward and holds out a rolled piece of parchment. "This is an edict from the First Warden himself, Knight Commander. These Wardens are to be released, now. Before you find yourself dealing with more trouble than just a few unhappy Warden Commanders."  
  
"Are you threatening me?!--"

"No," the other one, the mage, says shortly. "We are informing you."

"Indeed," The so called Warden Queen says with a slight smile. "It's been a few years, but the Wardens are still appeciated, people still remember. If you refuse, and we leave, we will spread word and then you will get a visit by the First Warden, and most likely visits from various Kings and Queens who have heard plenty of complaints on how wardens and Warden mages are treated when they have to go through Kirkwall. Simply put, Knight Commander, you do not have the ability, the reason, the authority itself to be locking up free mages, who are Wardens, NOT apostates. Especially ones doing their jobs. You will be so inundated with complaints, unhappy visitors and an extremely unhappy First Warden." Her smile is no longer, and Meredith is now realizing that she underestimated the Warden Queen and she is furious with herself.  
  
"It would be prudent of you to do this," the elven Warden Commander speaks up, sounding amused at the scene, at seeing Meredith look helpless, feel helpless and it's taking everything in her from lashing out like she rightfully should but regrettably cannot. "The First Warden is not a generally easy man to deal with, as our Warden Commander Cousland-Theirin can tell you, so if you end up on his shit list, then  he'll make life difficult for you, Knight Commander."  
  
"And the rest of us as well," the mage Warden says, her eyes narrowing as Meredith glares at her.  
  
"Knight Commander," her attention goes back to the woman in front of her. "Release the Wardens. I would like my mage back if you please. I have a feeling your Templars are regretting taking Velanna anyways." Her eyes narrow. "Now."

Meredith does not want to do any such thing, but she can imagine what Grand Cleric Elthina would say right now. She is not in the mood for a scolding.   "Do it," she hisses at the young Templar that had been watching the entire proceeding.  
  
  
  
**(20 Minutes Later)**

 

Meredith watches, helpless as the Warden Commanders greeted the mages that were being released to them, Knight Captain Cullen Rutherford watching from her side.  
  
"Did you know they belonged to the Wardens?" She asks. Truth was she didn't care. They were mages not in a circle, that was the only thing that mattered.   
  
"No, Knight Commander. Ser Alrik and the others said they caught apostates. I didn't realize the truth until I found their armor along with their papers."

"Were you the source, Knight Captain?" She keeps her voice civil. Calm.  
  
There's silence for a moment. Almost too long for her liking and she starts to feel betrayed.

"No, Knight Captain," he says softly. "But I was not the only one to discover the papers, the armor. Word must have indeed spread."

She can read between the lines. He may not have said anything, but he let it happen. He made sure it happen. Her Knight Captain was soft--  
  
"It was interesting seeing her again. The last time-" he flinches. "I was not at my best. She still saved as many as she could, including me. She saved my life and I was not grateful for it."  
  
"Did she recognize you?"

He nods. "But she didn't say anything.. she seemed disappointed though. I don't know why--" He falls silent as the _Warden Queen,_ Meredith internally uses as an insult _,_  comes up to them ,that damnable mage Commander with her as well.  
  
"I appreciate you realizing the error here, Knight Commander. I assume you will let your Templars know that Warden Mages are to be left alone?"  
  
She smiles, grinding her teeth. "I will make sure of it."

The Mage sniffs. "You will have to excuse me if I find that hard to believe, Knight Commander. Your Templars have made it even harder than before, since you took over the Viscount's position, for our people to do their job as commanded by us. Your word right now--"

"Clarel," Warden Commander Cousland-Therin says gently, but firmly.  "Not now. Please."  
  
The Mage seems to struggle at first, but nods. She walks away, and Meredith once more has to restrain her urge to do what she feels is right.  
  
"I would normally ask you to forgive that outburst, but Warden Commander Clarel is correct, Knight Commander." Ohhh, how Meredith yearns to teach this woman something. She stares at the Warden Commander, the hero of the refugees that have flooded in and been became a  strain on her city. The Warden Commander just simply stares right back, their battle with each other still taking place.   
  
 "Unfortunately this is not the first time such an incident has occurred, and I doubt it will be the last, but I certainly hope so, Knight Commander. The Grey Wardens take care of their people, and they will be making sure that when their Wardens come through here on Warden business, mage or not, they will be left alone. We will be watching, Knight Commander. You have a good day." She nods, and turns to her Knight Captain. "The offer to come back to Fereldan is still open, I know you have bad memories there but I do hope you consider Fereldan to still be your home."

She nods to him and turns away. Meredith stews, silently, as her thoughts turn violent and she wishes she could do what is right, the work she does for the Maker is true and certain, and she was just in this. Mages are to be locked up, not allowed to roam free, not allowed to be Wardens of all people.

 

**  
  
  
  
**

**(10 Minutes Later)**

 

 

"And not only that---"

Ashleigh had a feeling that Velanna would not stop her complaints for a while yet. The elven mage hadn't been complaining to her specifically, just complaining in general. She certainly has the right to do so, but it makes her wish this boat would get them to the city faster.  
  
"I am sorry," she says to Clarel.  
  
Clarel sighs, and rubs her bald head. "No, you were right to stop me. If I had continued I would have said something I regret." She smiles and then shrugs. "I would have loved to hit that woman with a good lightning bolt though. Melt some of that ice off her."

Ashleigh understood that. Just by being in the same room with her, talking to her, she felt like she was in a battle of wills with the Knight Commander.  
  
"Something was not right with her," she murmurs.  
  
"She's a Templar who believes she's doing the Makers work by locking up the mages here," the elven Warden Commander Alerion said, his voice as usual sounding like he was amused. He always sounded amused, Ashleigh discovered during their two week journey to this city.  
  
"You heard what they call their Circle," Sidony says, her voice laced with distaste. Ashleigh grimaces. "The Gallows. How disgusting. Honestly."

"It's not right what they did!" Velanna's strident voice breaks through. Ashleigh turns to her.

"I am sorry for what happened, Velanna. I am so sorry for how long you were there as well. I was in Denerim when Nathaniel sent word to me. He was ready to come himself, but he thought Meredith would listen to someone who officially had the rank of Warden Commander. I wished I had gotten here sooner."

The angry elf stops mid rant. "You always do the best you can," She says grudgingly.  
  
Ashleigh smiles at what passes for a compliment. "The ship we have won't leave for another few hours. Go on ahead if you like, or book a room for a few hours."

"Are you going somewhere, Commander?" Clarel asks curiously.  
  
She grabs her hooded cloak, and ties it on, raising her hood over hood. It doesn't hide everything, but enough. "Velanna, spread word out to the Fereldans our boat has room for at most, twenty passengers to bring home."  
  
She nods. "I will. Although from what I heard about this Champion, they may have decided they rather stay here."  
  
Her heart clenches at that, but she understands.  
  
"Where are you going?" Velanna asks curiously.  
  
"To see a friend," she says softly.  
  
For a moment Velanna looks confused, then she scowls. "You're setting yourself up for disappointment. Again."  
  
She probably was.

  
  
**Darktown: Anders Clinic**

  
  
  
She watches from the doorway, as he's bent over one child, healing them with as much focus as he had when he fought Darkspawn beside her.  
His hair is longer, he looks like he hasn't eaten much, and he doesn't seem to get a lot of sleep.  
  
She wonders if that's because of Justice.  
  
There are many people here in the clinic, and she's trying to be careful. They're here for healing in this place and they don't need a distraction. He doesn't need a distraction.  
  
"You should be bringing me along Hawke," he seems to scold the man in front of him. He glares at the elf with the.... fascinating tattoos. "You and your determination to wipe out every slaver in this city. You won't be getting all of them no matter how hard you try."  
  
"But it's such a noble goal!" The one named Hawke drawls out, a slight smile there. "I'm helping the oh so wonderful city of Kirkwall here, by being the Champion they so nicely proclaimed me to be. Whatever else shall I do with my time? Besides, Merrill was there. It was in the alienage after all, be sort of rude not to include her."   
  
Hawke. Warden Carver Hawke's brother then. The mage. The one that got the title of Champion and is free from the dreaded Gallows. What was his name... oh. Wolfe Hawke.  
  
"Ah yes, Merrill. As if that's so much better."

"Don't make me agree with him, Hawke," The tattooed elf growls.   
  
"Yes, that would be rather horrible of me to do, it would be the end of the world." 

She sees the elf scowl at Anders, and Anders returns said scowl. Words are exchanged as it continues, some of it laced with a little malice between Anders and the elf who she hears has the name Fenris.: 

  
"Oh all this bickering warms my heart, it does. But can you two put this off for another time? Anders, I think my arm is healed. You try to do anymore then the healer will need a healer. And I'm quite rubbish at healing spells. I might end up taking all the bones out of your arms instead of actually healing you."  
  
A huff of laughter from the elf, Ashleigh even smiles.  
  
"You always laugh at his jokes."

"I have a sense of humor, Abomination. You clearly do not."  
  
She frowns at that word, hating it applied to Anders.  
  
It goes on for another minute or so, and the two of them, Hawke and an elf named Fenris, get up to leave. She moves away from the doorway, keeping her head bent. She feels eyes sweep over. Her armor is decently covered by the cloak, as is her face with her looking down, but these two are figthers, if they sense something is wrong--  
  
She feels eyes on her and she chances a look up. The elf, Fenris, stares at her. He clearly seems to have seen her armor, his eyes not missing much. However he looks amused, and just shakes his head as he walks away.  
  
She straightens, and moves further into the clinic. The few others are resting, sleeping off the healing. So right now it seems safe. His back is to her, his staff resting next to him.  
  
_Here's hoping the third time is a charm._  
  
She takes a step and he stiffens, grabbing the staff.  
  
"Hello, little brother," she calls out, using her nickname for him.  
  
  
  
  
  
**(Half Hour Later)**  
  
  
  
  
  
This city and Justice has aged him, she thinks, feeling sad as she watched him. At first their meeting started off like how they were before.  A hug, a greeting - "Hello big sister," he had said. During their time in Amaranthine they had become as close as she and Fergus had been, and they bickered like it too. Then the exhaustion seemed to hit, and now slumped on a crate, he looks so much older. 

  
He was her little brother, and she was determined to help and save her little brother.   
  
"I'm needed here."

She understand that. "I know someone who's willing to take over, they came with me. They're on the boat now. Anders-- I've talked to other Wardens. The Rivian Wardens say they know of a way to fix this. Between them and a couple Tevinter Wardens that were there, they are convinced they can  separate Justice and you and to send Justice back to the Fade, where he belongs. As you both know."  
  
She failed her promise to Justice, and the reminder of it rankled. She hated failing so much.  
  
His eyes glowed for a moment and she starts, almost backing off the crate she was sitting on.  
  
**"We are doing good together** ," the voice intones. It does not sound like the Justice she knew. " **Our work is important, Justice must be done here."**

"Justice, please consider this. I told you I would help you get back into the Fade-"

**"You failed."**

She flinches.  
  
**"I will help Anders do what is right."**

She wants to growl, to fight so hard against this, but as the blue glow fades away, and Anders comes back to her, she shoves the feeling back.  
  
"Sorry- he did it again did he?"

"Does it often?"

"Hmm, more and more lately," he says with a tired sigh. "I don't know, Ashleigh. I have a place here. These people know me and trust me, they won't trust some new person. Plus Hawke needs me as well." He sniffs. "Well when he realizes he can't rely on a blood mage and that damn elf--"

Her sword hand twitches at the blood mage mention but she hears the heat regaring the other--  
|  
"What did he do that you don't like?"

"He exists," he says flatly.  
  
She frowns. "Oghren irritated you, but you weren't that vicious to him. This isn't you Anders..."

"Maybe.. but whatever I am, I am needed here."

"Please, Anders. For me. For everyone back home. They all miss you. Even Velanna."

He snorts. "I highly doubt that..." he pauses. "Is she okay? The Gallows.. they are not..."

"She seems fine. Her ususal self, but I'll find out more when we set sail. Thank you for helping get word to me. Despite you supposedly leaving the Wardens, you're doing a lot to help them still." She smiles, reaching out the best way she knew how. "We're still going over all that information and spreading it out to the Warden divisions that you created on the Architect and the Mother. The requests to hear it straight from you still continues. You excelled and enjoyed being part of the Wardens, come back to us. We'll fix this, we'll help Justice get back home, and you as well." She reaches over and grabs a hand. "Please little brother."

He huffs. "Pulling that card, I see."

"I'll pull any card I can. I'm the Warden Commander and your big sister."

Anders laughs, and it seems to take off some of his aging, his troubles lifted even if it's just for a short time. After his laughter dies down, he goes quiet, and looks down at his hand, currently being held by her.  
  
"Why would they want me back.. after..."

"That mess wasn't just on you, but on the Chantry as well, and also the First Warden for overriding my orders on everything," she says firmly. "Anders-" She pauses. "Me as well, I suppose. We were all so sure Justice was gone after finding Kristoff's body in the aftermath the attack." 

"But Justice is right about what goes on here-it's wrong, Ashleigh. I was foolish to ignore it on my own, and Justice showed me that. What we can do will help, truly. I want to help my fellow mages."

She grips his hand tighter, trying to hold on. "And you will be able to, just as before. I promise that. You'll be able to continue your fight, not just from here, but everywhere else. I will help you, you know that that. Alistair and I have been fighting as much as we can, aggravating the Chantry in the process. Justice may have opened your eyes, but you no longer need them to be kept open to continue your fight for mages. You'll still be able to fight for them, Anders. Come back home." 

"But Justice--"

"He belongs back in the Fade, Anders." She hopes this doesn't bring him out. "I promised to send him back there when he wanted to help Amaranthine, and I wasn't able to keep that promise before, but with the help of the Riviani Wardens, I can make sure to make good on that promise and then help you with your goals. Just come back with me. Come back home."  
  
A smile, a smirk really, and she thinks she finally succeeded. She sees a little of the old Anders here.  
  
"All right."  
  
Hope springs.  
  
  
  
  
  
***************************  
**  
  
  
  
Anders can feel Justice's unhappiness. He knows Justice doesn't want to leave him, doesn't seem to trust Ashleigh....

  
**She failed.**  
  
_But she won't fail again_ , Anders thinks. She hates failing, he knows it. She takes it hard.  
  
He wonders about the new mage she said that would take over the clinic- she said it was a Warden one actually. They had offered to do so. Now that warden eyes were watching what happens to Wardens in Kirkwall, this new one would be safe from scrutiny. She was from Fereldan, newly recruited by Ashleigh herself.  
  
He can feel Justice right now, feeling disgruntled, and a part of him starts to waver.  
  
He promised Ashleigh though...  
  
"Your visitor better not be trouble."

Fenris. Damn it.  
  
"What? Anders turns around, his pack lying down next to him as he stares at the elf.  
  
Fenris scowls. "I saw your visitor when I left with Hawke. She had armor, looked for a moment like Warden armor. Your past catching up to you? If so, it best not get Hawke in trouble."

"She was a friend," he says defensively, itching to blast the elf. "She was the one who recruited me.. well conscripted me, she did it to save me... why am I telling you this?"

"I have no idea. This was nothing that can come back onto Hawke then?"

"No, why are you so concerned?" He eyes the red string on the elf's wrist. "It's not like you truly care about him."

The elf flushes red, "Watch your tongue, Abomination," he sneers and walks out, only to be stopped in his tracks by Wolfe rushing in, with a bleeding Varric.  
  
"You were gone for just a couple hours," Anders says, feeling quite exasperated

"It always does with you," Varric grumbles to Hawke, responding to whatever the man had said.   
  
"Part of my charm." Wolfe turns to Fenris. "Kind of need your assistance in Lowtown." He turns back to Anders. "Finish healing him and join us, if you can. Varric, next time... duck." He rushes back out.  
  
Varric stares at the now empty spot as Anders bends down to get a better look at the bleeding cut. "What happened?"

"Things were said," Varric rolls his eyes. "Then Hawke got the idea to throw a bottle. It missed."  
  
Apparently.  
  
Anders internally counts the time. He only has a couple hours until the boat leaves. He promised Ashleigh.  
  
"Something wrong Blondie?"  
  
"Nothing, just trying to figure things out," he says quietly as he sets about healing Varric.

  
  
  
**Lowtown- Outside The Hanged Man**

**  
  
**

"Ah thank you for that," Wolfe leans against the wall of the Hanged Man, watching in amusement as the survivors of the tussle try to get back up. Anders had come in last minute into the fray and was able to take down two people who were tryign to get in sneak shots. Fenris, the damned elf, ended up taking care of the majority. "I swear, I have no idea how these things start."

"Varric said things were said."

"Hmm yes. Unfortunately i don't quite recall," Wolfe smiles, beaming. "But I got to throw a bottle... need to work on my aim though."

"I'm sure Varric would appreciate that," Anders say dryly.

"I had no idea it go that way! I swear. All I know is that the guy was in the perfect range for a bottle throw and I've seen Isabela do it, you know, and so I wanted to try it, just to see-" Wolfe mimics said action, "And then clearly I realized I was not very good with throwing bottles. The occasional knife maybe.. but not bottles. I apologized fretfully to him."

"About twenty times, he told me."

"Yes, well when someone tells tales about you, must be on your best behavior sometimes," Wolfe grins. "Going somewhere?"

"Back to the clinic. I have to take care of some things." Finish packing... He had about... an hour and a half. He could do this.

"Ah well, all right. Thank you for your help, I appreciate it."

Anders raises an eyebrow. "No joke this time?"

"I am capable of it," Wolfe sounds put out now, in a mock sort of way. "But what would we do without you, Anders?"

"You mean my healing skills."

"Well I am rubbish at healing magic. Can only do two little healing ones."

"I can teach you," he offers for what he feels like is the hundreth time. "I have plenty of books that can--"

Wolfe waves him off, grimacing slightly. "No, no thank you. I know my limits. Like bottle throwing. I can throw a knife, can't throw a bottle. That's a limit. I respect my limits. Limits must be respected!" He grins, then salutes Anders. "You are the healer, my friend. A good one too. So thank you."  
  
Anders nods, and head back down to Darktown, to his clinic. Wolfe's words echoing in his mind.  
  
As he packs, he feels himself pause. He closes his eyes and sighs just as Justice speaks up in that corner of his mind.  
  
He slumps down to the floor, his mind currently home to a battle taking place.  
  
He made a promise, he thinks. He agreed.  
  
But he also had made a promise it Wolfe, to Justice and the mages here in Kirkwall who need his help.  
  
What was he going to do?

**The Docks**

 

 

Ashleigh stands at the docks, hugging one of the Fereldans that get on. Velanna had put out word, and some had quickly come- the rest just showed up and boarded now. "  
  
She was just waiting on one more... one more.  
  
"Ashleigh... Warden Commander," Velanna spoke up then.  
  
"We still have a little time," She says stubbornly.  
  
"All right, I'll just make sure everything is set again."  
  
Ashleigh nods. The other Warden Commanders had already left, with their mages in tow. Clarel had stuck around the longest before leaving. She wasn't too bad, despite some reservations she had. Ashleigh had a little trouble trusting Orlesians (then again her ability to trust lately hasn't been all that great) despite the fact that her family had ties once... but Clarel seemed like the good sort, and was protective of the Wardens under her and seemed to want to do what she could for them.  
  
Time went by slowly, and as each minute passed without Anders showing, her heart kept sinking. She had failed to get him to come with her during her last two attempts, she tried so very hard this time, pulling out everything she could.  
  
Would she fail again?

Oh she hated this feeling.  
  
_Anders.. please don't do this._  
  
"Excuse me? Are you the Big Sister?" She looks down to see a child. Holding something. _Big Sister._  
  
"Yes."

He holds out a note. "He gave me a gold piece to send this to you."

She hesitantly takes it, and he runs off.  
  
Her heart sinks as she reads the words,  
  
_**I cannot. I am needed here more, and I can do more here. I am sorry, Big Sister, for I know I am disappointing you. Please understand.**_  
_**Little Brother.**_  
  
She takes a deep breath and shakily gets up on the boat, telling the others to set off. She stops by Velanna.

"Everything set?" She asks, proud that her voice was firm.  
  
Velanna nods. "I told you--"

"I know," her voice was sharp then. "I'm sorry, I didn't--"

"Don't keep your other company waiting," she says shortly. Velanna will no doubt be cold to her for the rest of the trip, but she'll get over it.  
  
Ashleigh made her way down, to her cabin. She had someone else there, who had made the trip but stayed on the boat. She talked to him earlier about the encounter with Meredith. Hopefully he'll be prepared if he ever has to deal with her.  
  
"We're leaving? Finally?" Alistair throws his book to the side as she sits down on the bed.  
  
"Yup." She had taken off her armor earlier, changing out into simple clothes so all she did was slip off her shoes.  
  
"Did he come?"

She shakes her head, trying very hard not to show it...but Alistair knows. He always does.  
  
He sighs, and pulls her closer to him, until their both lying down and she curls into him.  
  
"He sent me a damn note. Couldn't tell me to my face."

"Because he knew if he came personally he wouldn't be able to resist," he talks into her hair.

"This sucks."

"Yes." He squeezes her and she feels a kiss in her hair. "He made his choice, love. Accept it."  
  
She will, but she had a feeling she was going to regret not pushing more. She was going to second guess herself on this, think she should have just knocked him out and dragged him onto the boat and think about the consequences later.  
  
She sighs at that thought. She wouldn't have done that to him. She gave the choice to come on his own, and his message made it very clear where he wanted to be.


End file.
